don’t bend a knee to stress

Stress. You probably think it’s just part of life, right? Something unavoidable, something everyone deals with. But here’s the thing: it’s not. Too many people have bought into the idea that stress is inevitable, like it's some badge of honor or a rite of passage for being human. But neuroscience says otherwise.

Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett, in her book How Emotions Are Made, drops this bomb: “You might think that stress is something that happens to you, like when you try to juggle five tasks at once, or your boss tells you that tomorrow’s work was due yesterday, or you lose a loved one. But stress doesn’t come from the outside world. You construct it.” (p. 203).

That’s right. Stress isn’t some force that hits you out of nowhere. You make it. The way you interpret a situation, a person, or an event is all in your head. Whether you judge it "stressful" or not is your choice. Most people let their brains run on autopilot, reacting mindlessly to everything around them, and miss the chance to take control.

The book goes even further, busting the myth that emotions are hardwired into our brains. They’re not. Emotions are learned—shaped by culture, family, and personal experience. They’re just behaviors we’ve internalized, and most of the time, we’re playing them out without even thinking.

That’s why stress is optional. The behavioral health industry wants you to think it’s something you can’t escape, that you need a therapist or some expert to intervene when you’re experiencing stress. But the truth is, you’ve got the power to step in and assume command.

All it takes is a moment of awareness. Pause. Ask yourself: Do I really want to choose stress in this situation, or is there another way to experience this?

Practicing this demonstrates a level of self-regulation that many people overlook, but it's essential for breaking free from the habit of stress. It’s about learning to stop creating it, prioritizing peace and calm, and cultivating the ability to stay grounded, no matter what life throws your way.

The choice is yours. And you’re the one who decides if you’re going to keep letting stress run the show. Decide otherwise.