Everything Hinges on Your Story

One of the most underestimated resources we have as firefighters are our words.

Words have power, dude. Not woo-woo crystals & moon juice power, but actual power of how we observe and judge circumstances, events, and people.

As firefighters, the stories we tell ourselves — and each other — are more than just words. They dictate how we show up in every situation, from the firehouse to the scene of a call.

Think about it: the same event can be reported in wildly different ways depending on who’s telling the story. Look at Fox News versus MSNBC — same incident, totally different narratives. And the outcome? Different attitudes, different behaviors, and completely different reactions from viewers.

Your story works the same way. How you describe a situation — to yourself, your crew, or others — is how you’re framing your experience. Words carve out a frame of reference, limiting the possibilities you consider and, ultimately, setting your expectations for how things will unfold. And here’s the kicker: expectation is 90% of the game.

As Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett explains in the book How Emotions Are Made, most of what you "see" is actually your brain predicting the future, not what your eyes are physically observing. Your brain is filtering the world through your biases and expectations, locking you into behaviors that align with those predictions. You’ll only notice what fits your story, and you’ll act accordingly. (We all love to be right, don’t we?!?)

Your story doesn’t just affect your perception — it assigns roles. The hero. The victim. The bad guy. The lucky one. And once you’re in that role, your actions follow. The victim feels powerless, the hero rises to the challenge, the "bad guy" beats himself up. Your behavior follows the script you’ve written with the words you’ve chosen to use.

The great news is that you can consciously choose to use different words, tell different stories, and see the world from a new perspective. This is especially true for “problems.” The scientific term for this is stress arousal reappraisal (SAR) and it shapes the biological, psychological, and behavioral aspects of how you deal with life.

So, start telling better stories. Frame your situations with confidence and epic expectations, and you’ll prime yourself for that outcome. Live up to your own tall tales. Quit complaining and command your experience with the language you use instead.